Divorce culture is on the rise in India. But it is called Independence. What? Yes. You heard it right.
I call it Unadaptable Independence. When I say it, I mean “it is when you are unable to live with your partner citing different excuses which are mostly generic in nature.”
15,9,4. Don’t get me wrong. These are not the cricket scores of an individual in a series. These are the number of years of marriage togetherness of some prominent Indian couples before they divorced
Why am I talking about this point?
To warn you, your bondage with your partner does not depend on how long you have been married but on how well you understood your partner.
Let us discuss the reasons for 3 couples who divorced (from what they have mentioned).
Aamir Khan and Kiran Rao
Aamir Khan is a prominent Bollywood actor, and Kiran Rao is a director. Both got married 15 years back. They have a son and a daughter. Their daughter recently got engaged.
What’s the issue that caused divorce in this case? In Aamir Khan’s words, he is the reason for being ‘Unable to give time to his children.
Now as a parent, he knew from the beginning that he couldn’t help his children. Now, is he helped them by divorcing his wife after 15 years?
The trauma of the children of separated parents is unimaginable. Azad Rao Khan is now a school-going child. It is tough to understand his mental condition.
The good thing is that at least their daughter Ira Khan is recently married. She has some partners to share miseries and happiness, and Azad Rao Khan will not have parents on his side. Of course, even though they have committed him the time.
Shikhar Dhawan and Ayesha
The ace cricketer and boxer got married 9 years back after they got separated from their respective partner. Already with a child, Ayesha & Dhawan convinced themselves to lead a life.
What happened after 9 years, then? She cites ‘unfulfilled aspirations’ for divorce.
Is the divorce only solution to accomplish your aspirations? She is all alone now.
Nagachaitanya and Samantha
The love marriage ended in divorce only after 4 years. Both were budding actors when they fell in love and married according to Hindu and Christian traditions.
But, just after 4 years, they got divorced. Samantha says that ‘Whenever they were in the room, always sharp objects used to fly around’ explaining how bad the relationship was. She aspired for Bold career options, which she felt were not happening after marriage.
Divorce is a solution that helped her succeed. No.
After the divorce, she encountered a health problem. Her husband would have helped her dearly in tough times.
For all the above cases, divorce is no solution. The Unadaptable Independencies which we wish for in our life are the cause of it.
If the couple sits down and talks about ways to deal with career and life, adjusting to each other. Then life would have been much happier in all the 3 cases.
When life presents you with challenges, discuss with your loved ones, convince them of your priorities and blend in their priorities in your life. Respecting each other and sacrificing time is the real reason for success and glory.
None of the above are happy after divorce.
Will they ever learn? We don’t know.
But at least let us learn that” Divorce is no solution to our problems.”